An updated take
Since then, I’ve photographed many more weddings, stood beside many more couples, learned so much about what truly matters during a ceremony, and that there's no one right way to do things. Every season teaches me something new about presence, trust, and how to create images that feel as good as they look. This is an updated take, shaped by growth, listening, and a continued commitment to serving my couples and their people with even more care.
When I first shared this post a couple years ago, it came from real experiences and a lot of heart.
Have you ever been part of your child’s wedding day? Or stood beside someone you love as family or wedding party?
It’s emotional. You’re focused on supporting your people, staying present, and holding it together. You’re not thinking about your hands, your posture, or how you look walking down the aisle or standing at the front.
Then the gallery arrives.
The couple is thrilled. You’re happy for them. And then you notice yourself. Your hands. Your shoulders. That expression you make when you’re concentrating. You remember how meaningful the day felt, but the photos don’t quite match that memory.
I’ve been there too. As family, as a guest, and as a photographer. Those moments are exactly what shaped how I photograph weddings today.
Most photographers focus their guidance on the couple. Parents, family members, and wedding parties often get overlooked. I see you as an extension of the couple, not background characters. With a little thoughtful direction during the ceremony, everyone can feel comfortable, confident, and fully present. And that care always shows in the photos.
12 Ceremony Tips That Make the Biggest Difference
1. Hold bouquets at your belly button, tilted slightly forward
Florists design bouquets to be seen from the front, not the top. Holding them this way shows them off and keeps your arms relaxed. If you have longer arms, let the bouquet sit a bit lower. Let your arms rest naturally against your body and roll your shoulders back like you’re tucking them into your back pockets. It improves posture and photographs beautifully.
2. Skip the arm hook, hold your partner’s bicep instead
Skip looping your arm through theirs. It twists your wrist and often turns into an awkward fist, which reads as stress or nerves in photos. Holding the bicep looks more natural, works better with height differences, and lets you gently slow things down if needed. It photographs cleaner and feels more relaxed.
3. If you can’t look up, you’re walking too fast
Slow it down during the processional. If you’re moving so fast you can’t lift your gaze, your face won’t be visible in photos. You don’t need to stare at the camera. Feel free to look around, interact with guests, and take it all in. Just avoid walking with your head down. I’ll be at the front capturing those moments and want to see your face!
4. When the couple's attire needs adjusting
For the designated adjuster: If you’re holding a bouquet, hand it to someone behind you, adjust the attire (dress, veil, etc.), then hold both bouquets for the ceremony. They can be heavier than they look! If for any reason their attire needs adjusting mid-ceremony, just go for it.
5. During the ceremony, keep your focus on the couple
When you’re standing up front, your gaze helps guide the moment. Guests tend to follow where the wedding party is looking...and photos do too. Do your best to keep your attention on the couple when you can. Most ceremonies are fairly short, and it’s okay to gently refocus if your attention drifts. That awareness helps the ceremony feel connected and keeps the focus where it belongs.
6. For the Couple: stay physically connected
You don’t have to hold hands if that’s not your thing. Some couples prefer to lock pinkies or keep a light touch, especially if nerves kick in. What matters most is standing close to one another. Space between you can read as awkward in photos and takes away from the intimacy of the ceremony. Staying connected also helps calm nerves. Remember to look at each other throughout the ceremony. Those moments of connection are some of the most meaningful images from the day.
7. When placing the rings, hold them from the sides
Hold the ring on the sides so the top is visible. Slide it about halfway on, then say your ring vows. This gives space for photos and keeps the moment from feeling rushed. Take your time. You chose those rings for a reason.
8. Make sure your officiant steps aside for the first kiss
If this is important to you, mention it to your officiant ahead of time. I recommend they begin stepping aside as they’re getting ready to pronounce you married. It’s smoother than announcing and dashing and keeps the focus on you. If they haven’t moved yet, it’s okay to pause for a moment before the kiss.
9. For the kiss, give it a full three seconds
You don’t need to go over the top unless that’s your thing. A three-second kiss gives time for photos and gives your guests a moment to cheer. If a long kiss feels like too much, a few shorter kisses that last a second or two each work just as well!
10. When you walk back down the aisle as newly married
As you start your recessional, grab the bouquet if you’re using one and walk down the aisle together toward me. Take it in. You just got married! About halfway down, I’ll usually cue you to pause and kiss. This creates a great mid-aisle moment with all your people cheering. Then continue down the aisle for another kiss! Then go to your exit spot while guests head to cocktail hour.
And if you forget the bouquet, it’s not a big deal.
11. If you’re walking out right after the couple, wait until they’ve fully exited
If you’re first to follow the couple, pause until they’re completely down the aisle. This keeps you out of the background of their photos and gives them space for both a mid-aisle and end-of-the-aisle kiss. Once they’ve exited, you’re good to go!
12. A little intention now, more celebration later
Yes! Absolutely celebrate, hug, and soak in those post-ceremony feelings. Be present in that moment as long as you want. If the goal is to get you to cocktail hour quickly so you can spend real, quality time with your guests, prioritizing portraits right after the ceremony helps us get you there sooner. Once we've captured those, you’ll be able to more freely enjoy the rest of the celebration without being pulled away.
This is your day, do it the way you want
These tips come from years of photographing weddings, but just as much from the conversations I’ve had with past clients and friends who’ve stood in wedding parties or supported loved ones on their day. I hear the same thing again and again. They wish they’d had a little more guidance, a few more cues, or someone gently looking out for them when they weren’t the ones getting married.
That intention is at the heart of this. These aren’t rules and they’re definitely not expectations. They’re simply insights into what tends to photograph beautifully and helps everyone feel more comfortable, confident, and present during the ceremony.
We've already built a timeline that supports what matters most to you and how you want to celebrate. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and trust your instincts.
Above all, this is your day. Be connected, be present, and soak up every moment. I’ll be right there by your side helping guide things along so you can focus on having the very best time.